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Positivity and kindness…a positive mindset through the menopause.

Never underestimate the link between your brain and the rest of your body…

Having a positive mindset not only helps with your mental health but it really does contribute to your overall health and wellbeing.

Then there’s that word kindness - showing kindness to others but also being kind to yourself now and then is a must.

I know, I know, reams of people far more qualified than myself have written copious articles and books on these topics but, it’s sometimes the basics which can get overlooked.

Going into many different organisations doing talks I find it fascinating observing the interactions between colleagues and the mindset of those colleagues. Amazing how just one individual can have an impact on a room full of people isn’t it. More often than not it’s in a positive way but occasionally it can be the reverse.

Negativity can suck the energy out of a room can’t it, affecting that whole room full of people and causing havoc. Instead of keeping their negativity, moans and groans to themselves, some folk feel the need to inflict their disgruntled views onto everyone else! Half the time they maybe don’t realise they’re doing it - well I hope they don’t - but half the time they don’t care, it’s just unfortunately how they are.

Don’t get me wrong I’m no angel, we all have our moments, but it takes nothing in life to be pleasant and cheerful…even if you’re not feeling that amazing yourself, why inflict that onto everyone else. By making an effort you not only impact others but you also help yourself to feel more positive. Like anything in life, it sometimes just needs a bit of practice.

I feel very fortunate to have known some of the most positive, inspirational and self effacing people in life; family members and friends. One of the reasons I’m writing this post being the recent loss of a dear friend who was just that. Yet another wonderful person taken far too early in life. Aly is on the right of the picture below taken when I asked these two friends to help with a previous blog post. This lady was such a remarkable woman; incredibly talented and one of the kindest, most generous of individuals I have had the privilege to know.

I’m sure many of you out there will know similar people…they’re like gold dust aren’t they…when they walk into a room it’s like a lightbulb has been turned on…

It’s devastating losing someone and so so hard to see any positives. I find myself wishing there was a way of bottling up all their knowledge, life experiences and memories so I can peak in from time to time, especially if I’ve been part of those memories. Essentially though you just want them back…to hear their voice…listen to their laughter…

Why is it that some people have a positive disposition, whereas others seem to carry the worries of the world on their shoulders, unable to see the wood for the trees?

Are we purely influenced by life experiences and those we come in contact with from an early age or, are we born with positive genes…do we have a choice? Ah endless questions…interesting though isn’t it!

Well I’m most definitely not a psychologist but having had negative and positive people in my life…those that suck and those that shine… I know which ones I gravitate towards and who I want in my life!

So what else can help you get into a positive mindset…here we go…back to lifestyle choices again…oh do stop groaning!

What you eat, what you drink, incorporating exercise into your life and getting a good nights sleep all most definitely play a role. Having good relationships in your life and making sure you get to have a really good laugh now and then all helps. Shall I mention alcohol levels and caffeine…ah well as I'm posting this just before Christmas probably better in the New Year…just remember those glasses of water as well! There are previous blog posts to look back at which cover all these topics so do go and have a gander.

Realising that all those basics in life genuinely help can be the stumbling block for some people…it’s not rocket science…simple tweaks to diets and exercise levels can have such an impact on your overall health and wellbeing. Ultimately it's your responsibility to make the right choices. Years ago…I used to wonder what all the fuss was about with pilates, yoga, positive mindfulness and what on earth was cognitive behaviour therapy! I’m just relieved I found out!

Take pilates and yoga, I used to think if I didn’t look like I’d just come off a squash court then I hadn’t really exercised…how wrong was I! I’ve been doing pilates with the same tutor for quite a while now who mixes in a bit of yoga with the pilates, so I’m lucky to have the best of both worlds. If you asked her she would probably agree that I’ve still got a long way to go where technique is concerned but for those of you who manage to fit in some pilates or yoga into your lives you will know its more than doing the exercises isn’t it…I come away from a class with so much more…a sense of calm and rebalance…not to mention that pelvic floor…ok I’ll leave that til the New Year too!

Then there’s that word kindness

Showing and giving kindness…essential in life…incredibly rewarding and beneficial not only to the person you are showing kindness to but, beneficial for your own mindset as well. It takes nothing does it to pay a compliment, open a door for someone, carry someones shopping, get up out of a seat for someone less able, make some baking (even if its not turned out well which is often the case with mine its the thought that counts well, so I keep telling myself!)…the list goes on.

As we race towards the climax of the festive season some, like myself, embrace it head on whereas others find it completely and utterly daunting, over commercialised and would rather go and hide for the next few weeks until all the chaos has subsided.

I can understand this, have had relatives in past years who originally loved the whole build up to Christmas but then latterly found everything completely overwhelming.

For those of you out there who are finding the whole Christmas malarky too much or maybe you’re just a 'humbug' by nature…whatever the reason…take a deep breath, give yourself a moment but try and feel that Christmas spirit on one level or another. You don’t have to spend lots, or eat and drink copious amounts to get into the spirit. Its easy to go on line, click, buy and send a present isn't it, but showing kindness and thoughtfulness is equally as easy, will remain forever as a memory (well spasmodic if perimenopausal!) long after the memory of a materialistic gift has been forgotten, plus it costs nothing.

In summary...

Trying to get that positive mindset is a no brainer, it not only helps your mental health but also helps to give you the energy to tackle everything else, ending up with not only your brain thanking you but your heart, your bones, your gut and so much more!

Kindness...well I don't need to say any more...

Do have a look at previous posts, especially the one on sleep.

Headspace : Book : (pop in the code RUTH10 for a little discount...or there's always Amazon & Waterstones) Sleep post :


Any information is as accurate as possible at time of writing and is for information purposes only. The information and support that Let's Talk Menopause provides is for your own personal use. It is not intended to replace or substitute the judgement of any medical professional you may come in contact with. You should always seek advice from your healthcare professional regarding any medical condition.


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